Words of Wisdom

Something I touched upon in my post about financial mistakes after college  was the regret I didn’t try to move closer to home and transfer work places when my mom was diagnosed.  I don’t regret the hours I missed from work or the hours I visited her.  I don’t regret that I spent money I didn’t have-both to make her comfortable and to make sure I could visit her.  How could I? It was my mom and she was sick.  I only have a fleeting regret for not seeing if I could move back.

On one of my visits with my mom, I was staying up late and watching a movie with her and we got to talking.  I asked her if she had any regrets or mistakes that she wished she hadn’t made.   She held my hand and said “How could I? If I hadn’t made my choices or those mistakes, my three beautiful children might not be here and I wouldn’t have held my grandsons. Don’t ever regret a choice-you made it, learn what you can from it and be thankful. Yes it might have been a mistake but you’re you because of choices you made and mistakes you made.”   This is from a woman who married my dad, lived a life of poverty for the most part and didn’t marry the successful lawyer instead.

I’ll share a story I’ve known ever since I was little-I’d always loved hearing this story as it goes to show some of the strength my mom had.  Before I was born, my dad had just lost his job and they had very little money coming in. It was right before Thanksgiving and my dad became very saddened that he couldn’t supply a turkey and all the fixings for their dinner.  All they had on hand were some loafs of bread.  My mom, not to be deterred, made a Thanksgiving feast out of the bread.  She made “peas, baked potatoes, stuffing, and a turkey” out of mini bread sculptures.  And cheered my dad up in the process because she didn’t care about the lack of the Thanksgiving feast as she had everything she wanted.  Turns out that my grandpa stopped by and gave them a small feast after the fact but it wouldn’t have mattered to her.

I don’t regret my choices that made me who I am today.  Do I wish I hadn’t done them? For the most part no—if I hadn’t, would I be where I am at today? Would I have gotten into blogging? Would I be engaged to my fiancé?  Probably not.  Yes, once in a while I want to go back in time to talk to younger me, but I get over that thought pretty quickly.  All I have to do is think back to that late night conversation.   Instead, I am learning from my mistakes and hoping others don’t make the same ones that I did.

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