“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.”
I love this quote and have some real life experience in knowing that it’s true.
Way back when I was younger, I believe around 10, a family friend took my two brothers and I down to a local swimming hole. Of course, it being local, a lot of high schoolers were hanging around and doing front flips and back flips…well, a lot of cool flips and twists and dives. My brothers, both being more coordinated than I am, were able to copy these moves and were diving in no time. I, on the other hand, stunk. But I really wanted to do one cool thing-a shallow front dive. Our family friend showed me how to do it numerous times.
We were there for 5 hours. I know this because for four and a half hours, I did belly flop after belly flop. My stomach was bright red from the sheer amount of belly flops. I was sore and my muscles were aching. Yet, after every single belly flop, I’d pull myself back up onto the rock and go over in my head one more time what I needed to do. I’d ask the family friend what I needed to correct and watch one of the high school kids do another fancy back twist or whatever. And I’d try it again.
My brothers kept asking me if I just wanted to quit and go home-they were tired after being in the water for so long but I told them I just really wanted to try “one more time” and I think the family friend recognized my stubbornness-I wasn’t leaving until I did one. Part of it was stubbornness and part of it was the fact that my younger brothers could do it but I couldn’t. And then, the stars and moons aligned or my body was just sick of getting hurt or I positioned myself just right or something because after all my times of belly flops, I did a perfect shallow dive. I came up to everyone cheering for me—apparently I’d been watched after so many times of trying this out. I was so excited and proud (and sore, don’t forget that!) and knew that I was awesome.
How does this apply to other areas of my life? I’ve “failed” budgeting many times but I seem to be on a roll right now and am glad that I tried it “one more time”. I’ve failed at my finances but have picked myself back up (for the last time I hope!) and seem to be doing fine.
I try to keep in mind that it doesn’t matter that I failed before-yes it sucks but I’m going to fix it. The stars and moon will align and I’ll have that moment.
First, let me be honest. I’m a worrier by nature (read about wedding worries and baby showers issues) and will stress myself out over the oddest of things. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night because I’ve panicked about random worries (which could be something as weird as not remembering if I sent out a bill or as crucial as something like I don’t know how I’m going to eat. Thankfully the latter worries have not come back for a while!) and have suffered insomnia due to this. (The insomnia is one of the reasons I have set schedules that I try not to change a lot-I do better sleeping on schedules)
A little over a year ago, this led to some issues with my health and thankfully it was nothing major-only an ulcer. First, I was doing a workout program on top of riding a bike to work (no car at the time) and making a quarter above minimum wage at a place with no regular hours-both in shifts and in the amount of hours per week. Second, we had no real budget or plan-we paid bills to our roommate and made sure we had some food but that was pretty much it, the rest was gone. So there I am, getting up early to do a workout with poor nutrition and very little sleep and wondering why instead of feeling stronger, I’m getting weaker. But I’m also a stubborn person and persevered through it, plus the workouts helped relieve the stress of being broke. Not my brightest decision.
Due to the way my body was aching and me skipping lunches at work (I needed as much time as possible and would rather not eat if it meant getting an extra half hour. These added up as this place would start to send people home if it wasn’t busy so I needed all the hours I could get.), I started to take ibuprofen to counteract the headaches and soreness. Funny thing-I couldn’t take them with milk as my stomach would get upset. So I took them with water on an empty stomach and kept it up for a few weeks. Woops.
Sure enough, I started to have really bad stomach pains-these blinding, ripping, stabbing pains. I went to the ER and finally to a clinic (they worked with people with no medical insurance) where they finally got me on medicine and calmed down the raging stomach issue. The bad part? It took 2 and a half weeks to get this figured out so I ended up missing a lot of work-or rather, was sent home from work a lot and add the small paychecks to the medical bills and my normal bills? Ugh. That did not help my stomach issues out as the more stressed I became, the worse the pain ended up being. I did get financial assistance for those medical bills though so that’s a plus.
That was one of the reasons I wanted to be out of debt and wanted to have a budget. I didn’t want the stress of “OH MY GOD! The electricity is due…but we have no money! How could we forget!?!?!” that I’d been having. Instead, I like it much better when I get an outrageous bill and can say “hmm, I think that is a mistake and I’ll be calling but if not? It’s budgeted for.” It’s partially why I tend to overestimate things. Now that I have that budget and my plan, my ulcer has stopped flaring up and I sleep a lot better. Oh, I still worry but I can open my computer and look at the pretty budget. My insomnia, while not going away, is much better than it was previously.
What did having an ulcer due in the long-term? I can’t take anything with an NSAID in it without my stomach cramping in pain, I cannot eat as much of the spicy food that I love as I used to or have it as hot as I liked and I have to make sure that I have medicine on hand in case it flares up. Not fun at all. But it was also that nice kick to the butt to get a budget in place. While I would never wish an ulcer on someone, at least *some* good came out of it. And thankfully, I didn’t need surgery!
Remember my wedding worries? Well just this weekend I heard a very good friend of mine is having a baby (yay!!!) and after the initial excitement, I had to do something important. I had to tell myself “no”. I love babies and I love being able to do nice things for friends, so what I really wanted to do was throw her a baby shower. But honestly, right now, that would be just too much. I can only stretch my money so thin-plus my sanity. Part of what makes it so hard to tell myself no is that she’s my bridesmaid and will be throwing me my shower.
So it’s a partial “she’s throwing my shower and I want to throw hers” and a partial “I love my friend and want to make sure she has an awesome shower” mix of thoughts that was going through my head. (Not going to lie, it’s still going through my head) I kicked around trying to squeeze more money out of my budget but realistically? I know short of getting a second job, I can’t. And trust me, I’m keeping an eye out for a second job or a side gig but in my small town, choices are limited and the money I would earn, I’d want to put towards debt or my wedding. Yes, it’s a choice I’m making to not work at a fast food place and I’m okay with that. I know that if I really needed to, I would but….I just don’t want to. My time is worth more to me than that.
Instead, I’m trying to tell myself to just be an awesome friend-talk more on the phone (no lie, I’m horrible at this), make sure to see her when I can and, well, by her some awesome baby shower gifts. Okay, I don’t have to do that last part but I’m claiming her baby as my future niece or nephew so I’m going to try. It might come out of my personal money but I’m okay with that! (And wow, I have a lot of “pretend” nieces/nephews)
I did tell her that I didn’t think I could host her shower-I’m not sure if that was rude or tactless. I’m horrible with social niceties sometimes so I just came out and said “I’d love to host your shower but I’m not going to be able to at this point. But let me know who is going to throw it.” See, it seems rude now that I see that written out but at the time…well, I can’t and I wanted to see if she knew who was going to throw her shower. My thought process on this is that while I can’t host, maybe I can do something-buy balloons, help decorate, bake a cake, etc.
I will say this: telling myself that I cannot host was hard. But I also know that I can’t hurt my budget and not be able to pay my bills because I want to help out a friend. So, yay for growing up?
I decided I’m at least going to introduce myself to the rest of you. Some of my readers/fellow bloggers know part of my first name (and yes, it’s only part) but not all. I’ve chosen to let the rest of you in on the “secret”.
So here goes: my name is Bobbie. Cue epic fireworks and maybe some dancing monkeys. Whew, I feel better. And honestly, I’ve written “Boggie” on a few comments and thankfully caught it before publishing. Maybe this will help 🙂
Monday no spend day
Tuesday no spend day
Wednesday $4 milk
Thursday no spend day
Friday $42 date night (b), $1 book (p)
Saturday $52 gas (b)
Sunday $122 groceries (b)
Not too shabby. The spending a whole dollar on a book was kind of funny. I had almost enough to buy one of the books on my list but was missing one whole dollar off of the gift card. I can’t wait until I get it-it’s part of a series I am reading and has one of my favorite characters in it. Anyone ever read Anne Bishop’s the Black Jewels series?
Oh and something absolutely yummy? Apple cider is back in season. It’s one of my all time favorites. It is part of the reason I love fall so much! And speaking of groceries-we are doing a new thing where I go grocery shopping every week. Not really the highlight of my life but I’ll stick to the budget and list and we’re hoping that doing it weekly will help with fridge space and help our fridge’s cooling system out (currently it gets too cold when we overstock it by buying the groceries bi weekly). My fiance is under orders that he isn’t allowed to complain about what I buy if I do the shopping and he doesn’t specify exactly what he wants on the list. (For instance no just saying snacks-he has to be specific.)
No updates on Insanity-missed 2 days of this week so we’re going to restart the week. Can’t really complain because we had networking opportunities at work along with free meals.
Thank you to everyone for the encouraging words yesterday. I do feel pretty nifty about getting to start paying on that loan for real. And sadly, we have basically made up our minds to stay where we are for a year (read about the dilemma here). There’s a bunch of stuff that’s going on (that I don’t want to get into on a blog where some people *may* find it) that sort of made this choice for us. But we’re going into it knowing what’s up. We’re continuously looking at our ceiling for any spots that look like they might fall and thankfully, none have turned up.
In the long run, another year and 2 months won’t hurt here and might actually help us out by being able to save more money. I do think that we will try to ask for a 6 month lease instead of a year lease though. This way we can slowly save up the money rather than stretching ourselves pretty thin when it comes to money. It doesn’t change the fact that we are going to be living paycheck to paycheck for a while but it does change the fact on where our money is going to go. But a 6 month (if the landlord goes for it) will help with my sanity (knowing that if we can save up money we can leave) with the small exception of the wedding planning. If we found something in June (which is when a lot of rentals become available around here) it would mean moving a few weeks before the wedding. I am pretty sure I can handle it as we moved into this house in one day (packed the night before and that was it).
We’ve come to terms with it like I said and I’m sure it will only make us stronger and more committed to better managing our finances.
My fiancé and I use the same computer from home so when I grabbed the computer to check my face book (which I’m on rarely anyways and need to get better about this!), I happened to see his cousin was engaged. I asked him if he had noticed and dropped the subject. The next morning he brought up the fact that he hoped that his cousin wasn’t going to get married next year on our wedding day and went to check her page. (I think he’d had a dream about both weddings having ended up on the same day at the same time) Apparently it’s this November. Um okay, now I kind of hope we aren’t invited to the wedding. Is that horrible?
My reasons: we need a few months to budget things out. Money is tight right now (our own doing but we want to save for the potential move, our wedding, debt and just to save of course) so it’s going to take some tricky maneuvering to be able to budget a gift (which as we gave his other cousin $100, I would think we need to do the same amount-they are in the same family). And of course, do we have suitable clothes? I do but most of his clothes state the company that we work for—probably not awesome attire. Then we need to figure a way out there.
Plus if we do budget in the money for the gift, it’s always hard to let it go as its money that could have gone towards our wedding! (Oh that just sounds greedy now)
Of course, this could all be worries for nothing. And I could be over thinking everything anyways. We might not be invited and would therefore not have to worry about it. I just don’t want to offend his family as our wedding is coming up. So it’s this weird thought process that keeps going through my head of worries that shouldn’t even be in place yet.
Eventually we want to have a gift fund in place for things like this but that’s relatively low on the list right now!
Monday no spend day
Wednesday no spend day
Thursday no spend day
Friday $17 groceries
Saturday no spend day
Sunday no spend day
It’s really hard to spend money when you don’t have any money to spend right? The sad part is I probably didn’t need to spend all that money–but we did. It was on food as we had most of the dinner stuff but we forgot to double check on everything and were missing key parts of the dinners we had planned. We should have just changed the dinner plans but oh well. It wasn’t that much money spent.
I did go to the race on Saturday morning. I forgot to clue in my fiance as to me not running and my cat would not stop hounding us for food. You would think we had never fed him in his entire life the way he carries on. Anyways, the race was actually fun so I’m glad I went. It was raining and cold but I got a free race and a free tee shirt! I also improved my time. I ran it in 30:20 so roughly 10.07 a mile. So I am improving-and probably could have ran this one faster. Turns out it’s hard to run when your glasses are foggy and rain spotted-not easy to see where you are going. They also didn’t have a map so that wasn’t too helpful.
We also sold some more dvds on Saturday-I bought some books off my list but I love the fact that I was able to do it with money from the sale. We still have some left actually. We are going to keep on top of the not buying just to buy something and make sure that it’s what we want before buying though process right now. It seems to be helping keep our stuff toned down and helps out the budget.
That was my fun, relaxing weekend-how was yours? I love rainy weekends sometimes.
We had to redo the recovery week as my fiance (and work out partner) pulled a muscle in his shoulder. OR sprained it, one of those two. So we took it easy and reverted back to recovery week so that he wouldn’t hurt it more and we could keep exercising. So nothing new to report here.