Learning to say no

Remember my wedding worries? Well just this weekend I heard a very good friend of mine is having a baby (yay!!!) and after the initial excitement, I had to do something important.  I had to tell myself “no”.  I love babies and I love being able to do nice things for friends, so what I really wanted to do was throw her a baby shower.   But honestly, right now, that would be just too much.   I can only stretch my money so thin-plus my sanity.  Part of what makes it so hard to tell myself no is that she’s my bridesmaid and will be throwing me my shower.

So it’s a partial “she’s throwing my shower and I want to throw hers” and a partial “I love my friend and want to make sure she has an awesome shower” mix of thoughts that was going through my head.  (Not going to lie, it’s still going through my head) I kicked around trying to squeeze more money out of my budget but realistically?  I know short of getting a second job, I can’t.  And trust me, I’m keeping an eye out for a second job or a side gig but in my small town, choices are limited and the money I would earn, I’d want to put towards debt or my wedding.  Yes, it’s a choice I’m making to not work at a fast food place and I’m okay with that.  I know that if I really needed to, I would but….I just don’t want to.  My time is worth more to me than that.

Instead, I’m trying to tell myself to just be an awesome friend-talk more on the phone (no lie, I’m horrible at this), make sure to see her when I can and, well, by her some awesome baby shower gifts.  Okay, I don’t have to do that last part but I’m claiming her baby as my future niece or nephew so I’m going to try.  It might come out of my personal money but I’m okay with that! (And wow, I have a lot of “pretend” nieces/nephews)

I did tell her that I didn’t think I could host her shower-I’m not sure if that was rude or tactless.  I’m horrible with social niceties sometimes so I just came out and said “I’d love to host your shower but I’m not going to be able to at this point. But let me know who is going to throw it.”  See, it seems rude now that I see that written out but at the time…well, I can’t and I wanted to see if she knew who was going to throw her shower.  My thought process on this is that while I can’t host, maybe I can do something-buy balloons, help decorate, bake a cake, etc.

I will say this: telling myself that I cannot host was hard.  But I also know that I can’t hurt my budget and not be able to pay my bills because I want to help out a friend.  So, yay for growing up?



Spending Recap May 6th-May 13th

Monday  no spend day

Tuesday $ 35 Wal-Mart ($5 was donated though)

Wednesday $210 car repair (b!!!)

Thursday no spend day

Friday $13 Brahms

Saturday $xxx ring for me (I’m not really supposed to know so I just know that it was budgeted for!), $16 Champagne (not budgeted for at all but I’m only planning on getting engaged once so I’m okay with it)

Sunday $5 Gas store donuts

So it’s truly official now! I’m engaged and extremely excited! I honestly didn’t care that we spend the $16 on champagne on Saturday—it was really good and I think for a great cause.  (Okay I might be a little biased there but so what?)

And I absolutely love Wednesday’s spending note—it was budgeted for.  It didn’t break my wallet or my sanity and I may have danced a happy dance when I looked at the bank book this weekend.  No overdrafts or having to chose between bills.  So yeah, very cool in my books.

And some of that spending at Wal-Mart was for gift wrap and stuff for the baby shower.  No excuses but I found some really pretty wrapping paper.  That part was actually budgeted for though.  I did pick up a candy bar (and it lasted me 4 days so I effectively paid 25 cents a day for a piece of candy bar.  Not too bad right?  And of course milk was bought—as it was at Brahms.  Seriously we go through milk like crazy.  I blame the guy (fiancé!!) as I am not a huge fan of milk and will begrudgingly drink it.  The weird part is I love cheese, yogurt and ice cream—just not milk.

Sunday I helped mostly decorate for the upcoming baby shower and that took most of the day.  I didn’t even go swimming! But this Saturday I think it will be so worth it just to see the mom to be’s face!

How was your weekend?

Friday link lovin’

Another busy weekend seems to be looming. I’m planning on cleaning for a baby shower next weekend (yay!) and training for the 5k.  I might even get to play in the pool–of course, I’m going to have to go pick up more sunblock. And I “train” in the pool too! Or that’s my story anways.

Have a great weekend and I hope you enjoy (some of) the posts I really enjoyed this past week:

Daisy @ When Life Gives You Lemons always does stellar work and I really loved this post about whether bloggers are writers.  What do you think?

Newlyweds on a Budget ran her first half-marathon ever. I will eventually be up to doing that!

Mo’ Money Mo’ Houses writes about the weirdest google searches that she’s gotten.

Fi Fighter is new to the Yakezie Challenge so make sure you stop by to check out the site!

Frugal Portland did her May check in and her numbers are looking amazing.

Earth and Money posted about how not to make a financial decision and referenced one of my favorite TV shows!

Christopher @ This That and The MBA asks when the padding of a resume becomes lying –what do you think?

Erin @ The Dog Ate My Wallet wrote a inspiring and moving post that had nothing really to do with finance but needed to be shared.

Andrea @ So Over Debt reminds us all to not spend money before you have it.  I was extremely guilty of this in the past.

Vanessa @ Random Thoughts & Acronyms wrote about her bad luck with even numbered years.

I Heart Budgets gives some good tips to those starting up a budget (and a reminder for those with a budget)

New to Yakezie as well is Money Life and More—be sure to stop by.

Erika @ Shopping to Saving didn’t take no as her answer and gives tips for others.

J$ shares an awesome site to check your credit score for free!

Cait blogs about how people are funny about money (can’t wait for the second part!)

Student Loan Updates

I have a love for checking out shows and cartoons from when I was younger and absolutely in love with them.  Just recently I was watching Darkwing Duck and managed to come across the episode where Morgana McCawber is robbing the city of all their wealth in order to pay for student loans.  I never caught the reference when I was younger and I know that I watched that show so many times-whether it was a rerun or not.

I just thought I would share that tidbit with you—fascinating, huh? Even back then student loans were high.

Speaking of student loans, I’ve not made my “first” payment towards that one student loan.  Technically it was my second, but I split the first payment up into two different times.  From now on, I have to have the money on the card by the 25th.  After 8 months (and 8 more payments) this loan will then be in good standing again and I can try to negotiate a lower payment on it.  Ugh, that seems like 8 very long months away.  But I’m thinking it will fly by or at least I’m hoping for it.

The first student loan, that I’ve been making faithful payments every month to bring into good status, should be coming into good status relatively soon.  Hopefully, I will then be making some progress on it.  As it stands right now, I’m not really—I pay the money but it doesn’t seem to be doing any good.

And as for the guy’s student loans—that number over to the right feels like it isn’t moving at all.  Oh wait, I know that I forgot to update it after that first time.  Okay, now it’s updated….and it still hasn’t moved.  Seriously, going to take a long time to get that number to feel like it’s moving.  I know that it’s because we aren’t able to put as much towards it as I would like but I’m hoping to change that soon.  What’s changing? Well, we won’t have to save for a baby shower much longer so that money will be being split between Christmas (yup going to start saving now) and debt.  And probably e-fund because I would really like that to be higher as we just recently had a car scare.

So there you have it—my updated status on our student loan’s and my new plans for the “extra” money we will soon be having. Have you started to save for Christmas?

Spending Recap 4/9-4/15

Monday $40 Big Lots (will be paid back by guy over a month or month and a half), $4 Wal-Mart

Tuesday  no spend day

Wednesday no spend day

Thursday no spend day

Friday $11 Wal-Mart

Saturday $70ish (b) various stores for baby shower, $20 Sonics (p)

Sunday $19 Wal-Mart (b), $7 Brahms (not budgeted for but yummy ice cream ruled), $8 bookstore (b), $5 Wagreens

So only three no spend days this last week and there really should have been four.  But, on Monday, I was trying to watch a DVD and there was no sign.  We checked out the cords, TV and the DVD player but forgot to check the DVD besides for obvious scratches.  We went to Big Lots and bought a DVD player and HDMI cord for $40 and he agreed to pay me that back as it had to come out of the baby shower fund.  And we decided it could either be out of his beer money which is $20 every two weeks or I can be nice and just charge him $10 every 2 weeks.  It will depend on really if we need it or not.

And some of those Wal-Mart trips were budgeted for or will at least help out for next grocery trip as I picked up some things that I can now knock off the list. (One of those being salad fixings as we do try to have a salad fairly often—they are filling, healthy and go with most meals which is a plus)

On Saturday, I spent the day with the guy’s mom getting everything pretty much finalized for the baby shower.  Basically everything is done except for a few minor details that can’t be really done until closer to the date.  And that’s not until the 19th of May—so I’m looking forward to it.

Lastly, if you look over to the side you’ll see that instead of saying Medical Bill #x, you’ll now see it says “Student Loan”.  We decided that instead of doing the medical bills, we are going to start trying to pay down his student loan.   It’s in a bad status as well but not near as big as mine so we are hoping to get it paid of fairly quickly.

How was your week?