Some random thoughts
Posted: September 4, 2012 Filed under: advice, random, The Jones | Tags: conversations, envy, random 28 CommentsI sometimes have imaginary conversations with myself. Sometimes it’s after an argument or disagreement and I come up with the PERFECT comeback that is, of course, too late to deliver. And then I tell myself that I’m going to say that the next chance I get—and I don’t because of the whole forgive and forget thing that people are big on. (I’m a grudge holder at heart but I try not to be) I’ve confused my fiancé with this because I’ll hold the conversation in my head, turn to him and tell him what “we” (meaning imaginary him and I) have decided on. And sometimes, it’s as simple as me holding the following:
Me: I feel icky and can’t stop thinking of what I don’t have but everyone else seems to have
Imaginary Doctor: And when do you notice these episodes?
Me: after surfing through Facebook or having a conversation with a friend. But not every time…. I. Doctor (similar to I, Robot): What conversation topics seem to trigger these thoughts the most?
Me: When they talk about their vacations or new cars or they show off their new outfits they didn’t have to think twice about buying…
I. Doctor: Ahh…I’m afraid you have : (Cue imaginary booming thunder and flashing lightning)
I-Want-Itis. It’s not serious if you learn to learn to ignore these thoughts and don’t live above your means. Otherwise, you will have a new case of debtitis or brokeitis…or even worse: have both of them at the same time.
Yeah, that’s a “real” conversation that took place. Okay, not really, but it could have….maybe…okay not really but it’s still true enough.
I know that I’m working on getting out of debt and I’m really proud of that fact. I know it will turn my life around for the better. But every now and then that old jealousy demon raises its nasty head and makes it hard to be satisfied. Part of it is the “keeping up with the Jones” and the other part is just plain envy. I want a new car or a vacation or that new outfit. But I know that I’ll get there eventually so I’m working on just ignoring that nasty little demon and following my imaginary doctor’s advice.
bogofdebt 
Whether we admit it or not, I think we all come down with a case of IWantItis every now and then. That’s when we find out what our self-control is made of….. 🙂
Sadly mine lacked yesterday 😦 I went and spent $80 on fans. In my defense…my ac is broke and it was 95 degrees in my house. That’s kind of a need right?
First of all, I used to have imaginary conversations just after my ex broke up with me. Both to him and his family who just seemed to drop me like an old hat. lol! So you’re not alone. And you’re not alone in feeling those random pangs of jealousy. I still do. I seriously have to fight it ALL the time. And I just wish I could walk around like little miss sunshine and be happy in my frugalness, but I’m just not sometimes. Anyway, you’re not alone!
Yay to imaginary conversations! Sometimes they are the best for venting-you don’t have to try to make sense of things that you know what you are talking about.
It’s hard to watch other people and not to want some things. That’s kind of the driving force behind our country and our money woes. At the end of the day I always tell myself that eventually I’ll be able to buy those things…and I’ll be extremely thankful I didn’t spend as others do when I’m able to retire on my own accord.
That’s what I’ve been telling myself and for the most part it’s been keeping my spending in check. I love the fact that when I buy something it’s with money I saved up for that specific purchase in mind.
Ah that jealousy/envy attitude hits everyone from time-to-time. It’s really difficult to see people who are in a better financial state than me who don’t stress out as much about paying down debt and building a financial base. I envy their position.
I think your strategy of just trying to suppress/ignore these situations is really one of the only ways to deal with it. Recognize the jealousy, reassure yourself of your plan, and suppress the jealousy. At least that’s how I approach it.
And it works for the most part. Just every now and then I get super jealous. I try to avoid stores at this point.
Haha, love your imaginary conversation. I think we all envy others and “stuff” at some point (maybe quite often). I think in the long run you will be better off by sacrificing a little now instead of going deeper in debt. Just imagine all the things you can do or stuff you can buy when you are completely debt free and can pay cash for mostly anything you want. I think that will be a better feeling than the wants you have right now.
That’s the day I am looking forward to! And I do like that it is building character by getting out of debt and in the future, I will be so thrilled with everything that is accomplished.
The way my imaginary voice sees it is this: there are two ways to have the vacation, house, etc. The first is to borrow and have it. The second is to grow powerful wealth so that you can have whatever the hell you want whenever the hell you want it.
You’re working on #2. Most people are stuck in #1.
I’m going to love when I’m fully able to do number 2. (Which sounds a lot weirder than what I meant).
Aww, I know exactly how you feel! All my friends go on vacations, get their hair/nails done, post pics of their awesome new houses, cars, BOATS….ugh. Getting out of debt feels like being pregnant! It takes FOREVER…and everyone around me is having way more fun.
I want a new car too! I haven’t been pregnant yet but I have known enough pregnant ladies that I understand what you mean. I’ve been told it really sucks to be pregnant in the summer months.
Just like another poster said we all want this or that or what other people have, but at what expense. I would love to have a huge home a boat, a cottage etc like my mates BUT do I want to go into debt for it. It’s all fine and dandy to have but to have and not be able to pay if the walls came tumbling down is a whole other story. Tell yourself, one day you will have it, just not now. Stick to your goals and you will achieve what you desire as long as it is with-in your means. Cheers MR.CBB 🙂
I usually succeed at doing that 😉 Just once in a while! But I do feel proud of myself for sticking with a budget. As awesome as they are, it can be so very hard to stick with it when you have other people wanting you to do this or spend that!
I’m sure I’ve had a few similar conversations with myself too. And that’s part of the reason I hate Facebook. I never usually feel good after.
I get on there to pay a game and thats about it. I dislike surfing it because of how I feel after!
I totally understand the random bits of jealously but I know I don’t want to end up like most of the people with crazy loans on their BMWs and no money in retirement savings.
Very true. I will keep that in mind next time I get envious!
I still rerun my traffic court case from 2008 when I’m in a really bad mood, so don’t worry about that. I often have a case of I-Wantitis, but then C will ask me if I want to do something and I find myself saying- that would be fun, but I’d rather spend money on our current goals.
So whenever you feel a case of the I-Wants coming on, ask yourself, do I really want to do this? Heck, investigate the cost of that cruise or that new car, and then look what it would do to your budget. Generally, that’s a great cure.
I’ll have to do that next time. I know saving up for a car is a pain in my budget because I’m currently trying to do that so I’m glad I’m not going for a car payment and just a new to us car!
You are doing awesome! And all that “stuff” that other people have is on credit anyways. They are just making minimum payments =)
True and when I get that stuff I want it to be mine with no minimum payments (or in the case with a new car, very soon to be mine if I have payments)
I’ve been there! Just keep your head down and do your best to ignore all of those other people who seem to have everything. They’re probably hiding their own mountain of debt anyway.
That’s true. And those same facebook people tend to go on about how broke they are.
It’s so hard sometimes. But I do thoroughly enjoy it when they complain that there top of the line fully loaded vehlcle is crap and they NEED to get a new one. And the one they are going to get of course is an $80,000 one because that’s the *only* thing that will work for their family. Please, my vehicles are over 15 years old. Wrong person to complain to.
Mhhmm. My car (as you know) sucks and when they say they NEED a new car that costs x amount I kind of roll my eyes.