Some random thoughtsPosted: September 4, 2012
I sometimes have imaginary conversations with myself. Sometimes it’s after an argument or disagreement and I come up with the PERFECT comeback that is, of course, too late to deliver. And then I tell myself that I’m going to say that the next chance I get—and I don’t because of the whole forgive and forget thing that people are big on. (I’m a grudge holder at heart but I try not to be) I’ve confused my fiancé with this because I’ll hold the conversation in my head, turn to him and tell him what “we” (meaning imaginary him and I) have decided on. And sometimes, it’s as simple as me holding the following:
Me: I feel icky and can’t stop thinking of what I don’t have but everyone else seems to have
Imaginary Doctor: And when do you notice these episodes?
Me: after surfing through Facebook or having a conversation with a friend. But not every time…. I. Doctor (similar to I, Robot): What conversation topics seem to trigger these thoughts the most?
Me: When they talk about their vacations or new cars or they show off their new outfits they didn’t have to think twice about buying…
I. Doctor: Ahh…I’m afraid you have : (Cue imaginary booming thunder and flashing lightning)
I-Want-Itis. It’s not serious if you learn to learn to ignore these thoughts and don’t live above your means. Otherwise, you will have a new case of debtitis or brokeitis…or even worse: have both of them at the same time.
Yeah, that’s a “real” conversation that took place. Okay, not really, but it could have….maybe…okay not really but it’s still true enough.
I know that I’m working on getting out of debt and I’m really proud of that fact. I know it will turn my life around for the better. But every now and then that old jealousy demon raises its nasty head and makes it hard to be satisfied. Part of it is the “keeping up with the Jones” and the other part is just plain envy. I want a new car or a vacation or that new outfit. But I know that I’ll get there eventually so I’m working on just ignoring that nasty little demon and following my imaginary doctor’s advice.