Another work conversation

The girl I work with (let’s call her A) was talking to me the other week, and it keeps making me laugh.  She couldn’t remember what she had spent her money on the previous weekend, but her credit card had a higher balance than what she thought it should.  After much talking (where I did the whole “smile, nod and make random noises”), she figured out that she had forgotten about going to a restaurant with a friend.  She then went on to lament on how this ALWAYS happens to her.  My suggestion of tracking fell onto deaf ears-she really just wanted to complain.

The talk then turned to budgeting.  She was going on and on about her sister didn’t know how to budget and neither did her roommate.  This was kind of funny but she didn’t see the irony of it. Mostly because they can’t keep track of their money and cannot save.  Right after this she was musing out loud that she didn’t think she would be able to save “this time” either.   But then started talking about some fancy doodad she was going to be buying on credit later.

The sad part is, I have a lot of experience in what she’s doing but she’s not at the point where she will take control of her finances.  And sometimes you just have to let them make a mistake in order for them to fix it.  Hopefully she fixes things sooner rather than later!


22 Comments on “Another work conversation”

  1. Conversations like this always drive me crazy, not because I’m trying to judge or lecture the person but because I see myself in them sometimes. I just want to say, stop, I’ve been down this road, and it’s not a good one. But, you’re right, a person is only ready to make changes when they can admit that there is a problem.

    • bogofdebt says:

      So true– It’s especially hard when you can see big glaring mistakes because you made them. But they don’t see anything wrong with what they are doing, so I generally just bite my tounge and listen.

  2. lol, it is funny, in a sad way. There’s a dude I work with who is the same way. Car is being repo’d because he can’t make the payments, he’s looking to pull from his 401k for dental work, and yet, he showed me his new $250 phone a couple days ago. And 2 weeks ago he bought a $400 long-board (I don’t entirely know what that is, but it sounds like a big skateboard). It just seems like this kind of person isn’t connecting the dots yet. But you figured it out, and I figured it out, so eventually maybe A will figure it out (and the dude I work with).

    • bogofdebt says:

      One can hope! I always laugh when she talks about her brand new bow-she spent so much money on it but was griping about not having enough money for groceries a week later. She didn’t see the correlation.

  3. Aw that is sad! Taking the self-responsibility is the first step. Like recognizing you have a problem.

  4. It happens…nothing you can do about it. I actually had/have a friend who would do the exact thing. She would xbox games or random stuff online but then would ask everyone to lend her money because she didn’t have enough money for food or rent or bills in general.

    I love her! She is such an awesome friend, but didn’t have control of her finances. At first, I would try to talk sense into her, but then I gave up.

    • bogofdebt says:

      Nothing you can do until she really wants to change. Well, there’s tough love but you’d have to get everyone on board for not loaning her money for anything.

      • That’s actually what all my gf’s and I did. She ended up owing everybody money, and we decided we couldn’t do it anymore. At the time we were all pretty broke, not that much has changed since then. Most of us are still financially conservative.

  5. debtsntaxes says:

    I have been trying to point my brother in the right direction without straight up telling him he sucks at money management. It’s hard to watch, especially with family, but you can only do so much. Sometimes you gotta let them fall before they can pick themselves up. Sucks, but its reality.

  6. Honestly, in the end it comes down to how much you care. Any time someone dishes out financial advice they seem intrusive (just how culture is). I think smiling and nodding is about all you can do in those situations.

  7. AverageJoe says:

    I love it when people tell me that stuff. It lets me know that there’s one more $%#&ing idiot I’m ahead of!

    …that sounds awful. Let’s try again:

    I like these conversations, because sometimes I can help them out. (much better?)

    • bogofdebt says:

      I liked the first one better but the second one is more tactful. And yes, it feels good to know that I am at least getting ahead of her (she has less debt I believe but very little in savings)

  8. Savvy Scot says:

    I think you are right – sometimes people just have to make the mistake and learn for themselves. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. I LOVE those situations with irony when people just have no idea they are talking about themselves!

  9. I guess I’ll add my dismay here too – there are SO many people out there who are like this. They simply don’t see that they are not in control of their financial situation. Then there are those of us who are maybe in “hyper”-control of our money 🙂

  10. Unfortunately, I have way to much experience with this……getting to the end of a weekend thinking we didn’t really do much…..but then wondering where all our money went. It’s a process that’s doomed to repeat itself over and over until a person decides to make a behavioral change!

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