Howto Deal With Rich People

**And it’s day 4 of work travel! It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t get to do very limited blog stuff…anyways! Erika is going to be my guest poster today! Make sure to click on over there after you read her post.**

 

Hello Bog of Debt readers! My name is Erika, and I run the blog From Shopping to Saving where I talk about personal finance from the perspective of a 24-year-old former shopaholic. We get deep over there and talk about saving, shopping (or lack thereof), self-improvement, and more. Click at your own risk!

Today I want to talk about those friends we all have – the rich ones. Having grown up in private school my whole life up until college, I’ve seen firsthand how some kids are sheltered from reality because they are simply dependent on their parents for money.

Kids need values and ideals to follow, and if you are showering them with money and presents all the time, they won’t be learning anything but how to spend money…oh and how to be a show-off!

I always heard a bunch of this:

“Look at my new video game!”

“Look at my new light up shoes!”

“Everyone should come to my house because it’s the biggest”

“I’m having the biggest 16th birthday party ever, with a DJ!”

“I have a new Mercedes!”

Source

The problem with having rich friends was the constant need to feel included or to“stay ahead.” This resulted in a lot of begging my mom for things I did not need. Had I not known about those new Adidas shoes, I wouldn’t have wanted them. Ignorance is bliss.

Being around these wealthy kids also fostered a very competitive environment. We weren’t just competing on the grounds of “who has the most stuff,” but as we grew up, it turned into other things such as who has the best boyfriend, best job, best college education.

Let’s face it, there’s really no way to find out who has the “best” in any of these categories, because one person’s idea of the best is not everyone else’s. It’s all trivial.

On the other hand, it was nice to be around these kids because they came from wealthy-ish families, and I was able to discover different ways of becoming successful. This instilled a fire of motivation to do well in life to achieve this same success.

As we grew up, there were times when we realized that sometimes our idea of “rich”was not what we thought it was. Parents get divorced, people get laid off andlose jobs, or family emergencies happen.

You can’t guarantee that your friends will always be “rich,” so how should we deal with rich people? We should focus on ourselves, because the only thing that we have the power to change is what we can control – and we can’t control others!

Do you have any rich friends in your life? Have you been affected by them? How do you deal with it?

Editors note: I’ve grown past that point but I remember when I was a kid that I had some of those rich friends.  I remember going to one friend’s house because they had a pool and that’s all that they wanted to do in the summer. The one time she was supposed to sleep over at my house, there was an “emergency” and she was going to be out of town.  But I saw her at her pool the next day!

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14 Comments on “Howto Deal With Rich People”

  1. Alice says:

    It’s very hard to understand the difference when you’re a kid. In the elementary school that I went to, we were all pretty much in the same situation. When we got to high school, though, and were mixed in with kids from all the other elementary schools, we were then exposed to those who had much more than us and some who had much less. It’s so easy as a youngster to want what the other kids have. It then carries with us to adulthood.

    • When I become a parent, I know I can’t honestly keep my children away from the real world, so I would only hope that my parenting skills would be good enough to help them realize the difference between needing vs. wanting.

      • Alice says:

        I’m sure you’ll do a fine job. You must start early, though. Cartoons are the worst thing for a frugal parent to put in front of kids. Commercials draw them in as much as the cartoons!

        It’s funny, my kids, even at a very young age, would often tell someone, “Oh, don’t listen to that, they just want your money.” I was so proud of them! Now if they will only carry that along with them into adulthood, we’ll be doing good.

  2. Rich is relative. I don’t know anyone with two summer houses and a yacht, but all of my friends make more money than I do, and it’s not an issue. Ever.

  3. Jessica says:

    When I moved to a new middle school, I felt a ton of pressure have certain clothes, shoes, and gadgets to fit in and make friends. I had rich friends at my previous school, but I felt secure enough about my friendships that I didn’t really care.

    When I started college, I found friends who were more like-minded when it come to spending money, and I was able to save up a lot of money during school. I have a few weathly friends here and there, but trying to keep up with them isn’t something I think about too much anymore.

    • Alice says:

      Even though I always knew there was a difference between my situation and those from other areas in my county, I had a huge light bulb moment right after going off to college. I had signed up to room with a buddy from my high school. She was from one of those other parts of our county. I don’t even remember how the conversation started, but when she used the words, “my dads accountant,” I knew I was out of my league. LOL

  4. Crystal says:

    When I grew up we were all basically on the same level, although there was one or two who were obviously more wealthy. They were the only ones who had a car bought for them, they had a pool at their houses and they were always wearing the best clothes. I was never jealous of those friends because they never threw it in my face or it never felt like it to me anyway. I took a different approach to them right from the start too though. I was happy we didn’t have to spend the money on a car because I had enough friends who were willing to drive me around in school. I pitched in for gas, they were happy to lend their clothes to me to borrow and they loved having us over to swim in their pool. I took full advantage of it!!!
    As a mom, my kids have friends whos parents make more than we do and they have more “stuff”, but those kids always are the ones who want to come to our house to play. Their parents are uptight about anything getting wrecked or broken so it’s not welcoming. We may not have all the stuff but we have fun. That’s what I hope my kids can see as they grow up

  5. I wouldn’t say I had any rich friends but I had friends who definitely had more money. While I wish I had some of what they had I knew that it wasn’t that big of a deal. I also chose to hang around kids more in my monetary level I guess.

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  7. I had one “rich” friend that I remember as a kid, and she always had nice things, and she had a pool and a hot tub. I feel terrible but the main reason I was her friend was because she had a pool and these awesome battery powered cars for kids. Then we found out her family wasn’t actually rich they were just living beyond their means and were in big time debt. Maybe a year or so later they had to sell their home and move because they were broke. I think that actually might be the first time I found out what credit card debt was!

  8. Ahh I remember those days! It sucked. Coming from a family of low income, I could only dream and never have. It still happens on Facebook. I get jealous because I don’t have the same opportunities to do what my fb friends can do. However, it does motivate me to do better. Makes me work hard!

  9. I had a rich friend in high school. Well, it wasn’t so much that she was rich, but she certainly had a lot compared to me and some of our other friends. It was high school, so it wasn’t as much of a competition as it would have been in elementary school. Actually, we usually teased her about the ridiculously expensive clothes she would buy. She bought this really expensive Louis Vuitton purse and then later bought the silk ribbon to tie around the handle. We laughed because it was crazy that she would spend over $100 just on a ribbon! She got a little annoyed with us because she said it was fashionable and we didn’t understand, but it was alright in the end.

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